Letter from Mindy Wiegand

~Hercules~

You can call me Hercules if you’d like, but most people who know me just call me Mindy. On the outside, I appear to be your run of the mill American suburban mom with the two story house and two point two children playing on the trim front lawn, but don’t be fooled by appearances. Somewhere within this feminine exterior and behind the shy smile, houses the soul of a champion and the heart of a warrior.

It’s true, I am a superhero. Pardon me if my ego is showing but I have earned my merit badge long ago. I am the parent of a child with autism. I am a hero like the many other parents before me who were reluctant champions. There has been no dirge for those past heroes nor will we see their names in history, just as there will be none for me. I would like to suggest we pause and remember those now anonymous parents who were told they caused their child’s autism, who were told there was nothing they could do about it, who sacrificed their dreams and marriages so that I didn’t have to endure the ignorance of their time. I would especially like to remember the ones who dared not to accept their fate as hapless spectator. They are all heroes of mine.

I could begin to tell you my story, but if you are reading this now, you are not likely the parent of a child who is “neurotypical” so if you have come this far, you already know my story. Your story is my story. My child was developing typically until one day, she was gone. Start to finish, that’s the gist of how it all came to be and I how one day really began to live and how you and I have crossed paths in this moment and space.

Allow me to introduce you to yourself, “Hello there, you are a superhero.”

There’s no point in being shy now. You are going to move mountains, cross the widest chasms of personal growth, and careen at solar speeds around learning curves others will never conceive. You will no longer accept being spoon-fed information and begin the search for your truth. You will defy the odds, you will find the courage to face the things you fear, and you might even do battle with a few whitecoats who tell you “there is no significant data that is a valid therapy.” You will be broken down and rise again to be tempered into a stronger person and join the ranks of an amazing class of people who have the wisdom to know we need to be our own champions. By the above definitions, you do get to be a superhero.

I would like to elucidate to those with autism of any spectrum especially, that I do not believe I am a superhero of autism. Those with autism are the superheroes of autism. I cannot express views from the perspective of my daughter nor as a person with autism. Please do not to take offense at my strong language because I am an intensely passionate person by nature. I also am only capable of delivering the view I honestly can which is as the parent of a child with autism. I cannot be denied my role anymore than my daughter can be denied hers, though we certainly can all learn from each other.

What I would also like to avoid misinterpreting is the idea that I believe I am a martyr. I do not perceive myself Atlas who holds the burden of the world on his shoulders. I am privileged to know this amazing person who has opened my eyes to the nature of human beauty. Once again, another remarkable and almost cosmically humorous paradox in which a little girl with a significant communication disorder can lead others in her life to the core of their humanity. She loves without fear, laughs with all her heart, and sings as loud as her little voice permits. So I repeat, I am no martyr, but a privileged passenger in the ride of her life.

And what a ride!

Mindy Wiegand
Arts & Leisure Editor